15 | dawn till dusk

[verylongfarewell]

Tonight I am listening to this.

It's mood music for the Lilith short story that, although I have sent it to my editor, I'm still mulling over and wanting to elaborate more on. Not within that particular short story, that one is definitely done, but it opens up for so many questions about what happens later and I'm thinking about maybe writing some stand-alone ficlets to cover some of those questions. I have two prompt tables (colors) from rainbowfic that I think I'll use for it, ten prompts in each, so that would be ten little fics combined. I think I can do that before June is over and be ready for the July novel project my girlfriend and I will be writing together.

Yes, I think that's gonna be my plan of action.



I keep returning to the short story, though. It's not that often I feel like this, where I return because I want to read my own writing as a reader, not as the writer. But this one scratches that exact itch, so I keep wanting to sink into it more. It's the language of it, I think, it's very poetic and flowery. I can only think of one author whose work I feel like this about and that's André Aciman, one of my favourites, and this isn't to compare myself to the likes of him, but just to say... it's the same feeling, and I want to think that's a good sign.

Even if and when my short story comes back to me with a million corrections and red lines, I want to hold onto this feeling, that this story feels worthwhile and calls to something in me even I didn't know was there until I wrote it. Regardless of whether or not the submission call will take it, I'm very proud of this story. I think it holds something unique.



Tomorrow is my first day this week with no plans during the day - plus, my girlfriend, if she's not sick still, has plans in the evening, so that might be the whole day, really... And I plan to get a head start on some writing, drink lots of tea and maybe go for a walk around the neighbourhood. I still can't walk very far, but around the parking lot and maybe up to the bus stop should be okay.

Other songs I'm listening to right now count this:

Watch on YouTube

Also on my Lilith playlist, if you were wondering. Very much a song from Lilith to Mary. So much girlpower and feminine strength in there, not to mention a real banger. I've listened to it on repeat for days now.



Gonna try staying up late-ish tonight, in the hopes of a better night's sleep that last night which was straight up awful. My sleep schedule these days is really marked by a lot of stress, anxiety and worries. Hopefully, when my girlfriend's summer hols come around, things will settle into something quieter and calmer.

Here's to hoping.

Comments

[soricel]

I keep returning to the short story, though. It's not that often I feel like this, where I return because I want to read my own writing as a reader, not as the writer.

I love this feeling! I do this sometimes with a fic I started a while back and then unfortunately and impulsively orphaned. I might try to continue it at some point, even if it's just for me, but I still think about scenes/passages from it fondly once in a while, and when I go back to re-read it, it gives me a nice feeling. Maybe orphaning it allowed me to have the distance from the project to allow me to feel that way? I don't know, but anyway it's a nice break from being super self-critical most of the time! :)

[verylongfarewell]

It really is. During the writing process, I analyze every sentence, every word, so being able to put a story away and return to it, feeling this way, is such a big reward for that obsessiveness.

I hope you get to return to your fic, even if for yourself, because that is so important too!