10 | tie the knot

[verylongfarewell]

Okay, since the last entry, posted, what, ten hours ago, a lot of things have happened.

1) I finished a short story. Yes, the short story, the Lilith one. 5800 words worth of first draft, meaning I have a 200 words wriggle room, which might or might not become needed. I'm really excited about it, but also - at this moment, I hate everything about that story, so can't feel too elated about it. I know it's got some good points, but because I'm in that post-writing frenzy low, I really can't see them. Tomorrow. I have the whole day off, no plans at all, and plan to just do a proper read-through of the short, edit what I think is necessary, maybe find an alpha reader or something... and then...

2) I have an online friend who is a professional freelance editor and I have approached her about the possibility of me using her as editor for this short. She isn't terribly expensive, I think about 60$ for the whole thing, and she knows my writing style from roleplaying, so I think she already has a grasp of how I write which is probably a good thing. I really want this short to be spiffy for when I turn it in for the Danish anthology. At least be sure my English is correct. I've begun really doubting my own grammar...

So, I think I'll do that. When I've polished up this first draft, I'm going to send it to her and see what I get back. I'm pretty nervous about it. I have never had anything I've written, especially not my English stuff, by a professional editor and I'm nervous about what I might have to realise about my own writing (aka, it sucks).

But as a friend of mine said, it's to get better and the editor is not out to get you, they're out to help. I have to remember that.

Besides, it's something I'm doing to myself. I'm asking for proper feedback, not just pats on the shoulder, the that's really good-kind. So, I'm allowed to cry once I get a lot of notes back, but then I have to square my shoulders and get to work.

I want this story to be good. I think it deserves that.

And I think I deserve to get better, too.

So, that's why I'm going forward.